Before the diagnosis

Life in 2021 was great. I was 40 years old, active, and healthy. Actually, I was in the best physical shape of my life. I was (and still am) happily married. My kids were in kindergarten and first grade. I was CEO of a fast-growing software company I had invested in. Life could not have been better. 

My annual physical

Ever since our son was born, my wife, Melissa, has made me get an annual physical every year. They had always been routine. I’ve never had any major health issues. I went in for another annual physical in December of 2021. I expected it to be another routine, check-the-box visit. I felt great and had no complaints. 

My physical revealed that my liver enzymes were slightly elevated. My ALT was 48 U/L and my AST was 45 U/L. These values were slightly above the target range of 0-44 U/L. My primary care doctor said we should do more tests to determine why. I thought that seemed unnecessary, but went along with it. 

I had an ultrasound a few weeks later. It revealed several masses in my liver. My doctor then ordered an MRI so we could get a more detailed look at them. During this time, my liver enzymes had gone up. ALT was now 99 U/L and AST was 58 U/L. While this was a little concerning, I was sure there was nothing serious going on. I had no symptoms. 

Answering the dreaded phone call

I had the MRI in the morning of February 7, 2022. That evening, I was at the airport waiting for a flight to Boston. I got a call from my doctor. I instantly became nervous when I saw his number on my phone. I could tell something was wrong as soon as I heard his voice. 

“Austin, it looks like there is cancer in your liver. It appears that it has spread from somewhere else, and it appears that there is a lot of it.” My life stopped when I heard those words. I was speechless. And I was so scared. The only thing I could think about was my family. Everything else seemed completely irrelevant. And everything about my life changed in that instant. 

The doctor said they needed to do more tests to get a complete picture of what was going on. He said I should not fly to Boston, but rather stay in Atlanta. He said he would refer to me a local oncologist and wished me the best of luck. I called Melissa, told her the news, and left the airport to go back home. 

When I got home, my kids were still awake but about to go to bed. I put on a happy face and pretended nothing was wrong. I looked at them completely differently than I ever had before. I treasured the look on their young, innocent faces. And I treasured being able to touch and hold them. I put them to bed and held on tighter than ever before. I came out, hugged Melissa, and began sobbing. 

Melissa quickly told me that I had to believe that God would heal me. She affirmed that Jesus’s healing power was present today, just as it was 2,000 years ago. Before I received the call, she had been reflecting on the Bible verse of the day, which was Jeremiah 29:11: 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 

Melissa affirmed this promise is true, and that we must believe God would heal me. She said we were going to work together to affirm God’s healing for me. My parents and sisters came over later that night and prayed for me. I cried a lot. Words cannot describe the fear and sorrow that I was experiencing. 

Receiving the diagnosis

The next two weeks were filled with what seemed like non-stop phone calls, blood draws, scans, colonoscopies, and biopsies. I met with my local oncologist on February 16, 2022. In a very unsympathetic manner, he said that I had several tumors in my liver. The largest was 2.5 inches wide by 4.5 inches long. There were several smaller tumors covering almost all of the rest of it. He said the cancer had also spread to my surrounding lymph nodes, one of my kidneys, and my brain. He informed me this was stage four cancer, and the best he could do was potentially delay the spread with chemotherapy. He said there was no cure. 

He delivered all of this news quickly and with little emotion. I was in complete shock. I literally could not breathe. I laid down on his table and cried. I struggled to breathe. I thought I was going to pass out. I was trembling with fear. 

In his office, Melissa assured me that God would heal me. The doctor watched her comfort me and said nothing. 

He then added that my case was difficult because the pathologist could not determine the primary source of the cancer. The pathologist said it may be of squamous cell origin, but could not ascertain that. My oncologist educated me that treatment is driven by the primary source, and with “unknown primary,” we were basically shooting in the dark. My case was medically hopeless. 

Turning to God as my healer

Melissa and I went home from the doctor’s office and went directly to God. We laid down on the floor in tears, telling God that we know he is in this and will heal me. We asked him to give me the strength to remain faithful and get through this. 

Melissa immediately reminded me of Jeremiah 29:11. God knows the plans he has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me. He is giving me hope and a future. Dying of this disease is not his plan for me. 

Melissa began turning to other healing verses she had highlighted in her Bible. It was comforting to hear them. She read several verses in the Old Testament where God says to “fear not,” for he is with us. She declared that we would not give into the fear. And we claimed that God was with me every step of the way. 

My parents and siblings also went straight to God and declared that he would heal me as well. I still had a lot of fear, but reading the Bible quickly became my primary source of comfort. 

Over the coming days, Melissa and I poured over the Bible and found as many healing verses as we could. I decided to write them on notecards and put them around our bedroom. I would read them as I was getting dressed, brushing my teeth, and going to bed. I also put some of my Bible verse notecards next to my computer in my office. I would read them while working

I tried my hardest to keep my thought filled with God-centered thoughts. What did God know about me? How does he see me? What would Jesus say to me? I played these thoughts in my head over and over. 

My mom began praying for me nearly all day. Sometimes, she would wake up in the middle of the night and pray for hours. I sometimes called her in the middle of the night when I could not sleep. I cannot imagine the pain she felt seeing her son go through this. When faced with such a big challenge, you need people like your mom and Melissa to pray for you nearly 24/7. I could not do it alone.

Living with the news

My life continued with the non-stop doctor appointments, blood draws, and phone calls. My previously “normal” life had disappeared overnight. My new normal was very unpleasant. I had never realized how amazing my normal life was. I craved the normalcy of work, exercise, and time with my family. 

I tried to continue a somewhat normal work life. I still don’t know how I managed to do that during this period. I stayed about 75% engaged in my company but gradually stepped back over the coming months.

I didn’t want to be left alone in my home office so I started following Melissa around the house. I ran carpool with her and went to all the kids’ activities. I made sure someone from my family was by my side at all times. I didn’t want to miss one moment with the family because I wasn’t sure how many I had left. I used to look at my kids and just cry. There is no worse thought than looking at your kids, unsure if you will live to support and watch them grow up. Looking at Melissa was equally painful. How would she raise these kids by herself, especially with them grieving for me? The emotional pain was unbearable. 

I quickly realized that I was staring death in the face, every day. I told people that each day was the most intense emotional battle of my life. I then had to wake up the next day and do it all over again.  

I cried - hard - at least a few times every day. Melissa held me each time and declared various Bible passages over me. We often referred to II Corinthians, where Paul says that we will take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. I knew these fearful thoughts that I was dying were coming from the devil. They were not God’s thoughts. I forced myself to shut them out and fill my thinking with God’s word instead.

I could not sleep at night. I would lay awake for hours and push fearful thoughts out of my mind. These nights were long and scary. I eventually discovered Dodie Osteen’s hour-long YouTube video with healing scriptures. She was miraculously healed of terminal cancer - unknown primary of the liver, at that - and had her own favorite healing verses. I used to listen to her over and over at night. I quickly upgraded to a premium YouTube account to remove the ads. Hearing her voice brought me so much comfort when I desperately needed it. 

Second Opinions

In the following weeks, I had appointments with two other oncologists to get second and third opinions. They all told me the same thing: this was an advanced stage of cancer and I had no hope. I was encouraged to enjoy the time I had left. I did not ask how long that was, and refused to Google it. 

We decided to send the tissue recovered from my biopsy to the Mayo Clinic to get another opinion from their pathologist. We were told their pathology was the best in the world. If they couldn’t determine the primary source of the cancer, no one would be able to. Their pathology came back the same: unknown primary, with potential squamous cell origin. 

Beginning chemotherapy

I began chemotherapy in early March. My doctor recommended that I begin with carbo taxol (carboplatin and paclitaxel), a combination of chemotherapy drugs regarded as the standard treatment for unknown primary cancer. The nurses had educated me on the side effects of carbo taxol, but in hindsight, I had no idea what to expect. 

The chemotherapy room at Piedmont Hospital in Atlanta is as large and scary as you would expect. It consists of 50+ chairs spread around the room, with people hooked up to IVs. I couldn’t believe I was really experiencing this when I walked in the room. I was the youngest person by 20 years and stuck out like a sore thumb. 

The infusion of carbo taxol was supposed to take 5-6 hours. A few hours in, I began having hot flashes and panic attacks. This obviously was reason for concern since several nurses stopped everything and came over to tend to me. They stopped my IV and hooked me up to an epinephrine machine. I calmed down a few minutes later. They had to do this twice. I didn’t know it at the time, but my body was basically undergoing shock from the toxicity of the chemo. 

Over the next few days, I felt a deep level of pain that I had never felt before. The inside of my bones hurt. I laid on the couch crying. I shivered in pain and fear. Melissa was by my side the entire time, reading to me from the Bible and assuring me that God would heal me. I was, and still am, eternally grateful for her. 

MD Anderson and the primary cancer source

Along the way, Melissa had been asserting that we had to go to MD Anderson in Houston, TX. I thought that seemed unnecessary since I already had opinions from three oncologists and two pathologists. She insisted, so I went along with it. Pathologists from MD Anderson did their own analysis of my tissue, and Melissa and I flew to Houston in March for more scans and a meeting with an oncologist. 

I was immediately impressed by the size and scale of MD Anderson. It consists of a series of tall buildings connected by skybridges in the Texas Medical Center. It was the largest and most impressive medical facility I had ever seen. While I did not want to be there, it felt like I was in my right place. 

I was surprised by the specialization at MD Anderson. My oncologist specializes in unknown primary cases of the GI tract. When Melissa and I met with him, he said their pathologist determined that it was unknown primary but with a biliary profile. He said he and a panel of doctors had debated the primary source of my cancer. By combining the pathologist’s report, the mutations revealed in genetic analysis of my tissue, and a large set of data from MD Anderson patients, they were able to infer that the cancer had originated in my bile ducts. They could not be 100% certain, but believed this was the case. Of course, I had to be reminded of what the bile ducts even do. I did not know that cancer of the bile ducts was even possible.  

I thought this was great news that MD Anderson had determined the primary source. I thought this insight would help them figure out how to cure me. 

My doctor then said that bile duct cancer, or cholangiocarcinoma, was relatively rare and also aggressive. He informed me there was no cure. He said my only hope was to buy time with chemo. Again, I did not ask how long. He said we needed to change my chemo regimen from carbo taxol to gemcis (gemcitabine and cisplatin). He said gemcis would work better for cholangiocarcinoma, but still not cure it. I left his office trembling in fear. 

Melissa and I went back to the rental car. I began sobbing. I cried out, “God, please help me.” I remember my shirt became soaked in tears. I genuinely believed God would heal me, but didn’t see any sign of it yet. I felt so lonely, despite Melissa being right there with me. And I was terrified. 

Discovering Word of Faith Family Worship Cathedral

I had been going to church my entire life. My dad told me about his client, Bishop Dale Bronner, the pastor of Word of Faith Family Worship Cathedral in Atlanta. My dad said Bishop Bronner’s preaching was powerful and uplifting. He encouraged me to attend a service and meet him.

When I went to Word of Faith Family Worship Cathedral in Atlanta, I felt like I had never been to church before. Their conviction in and understanding of God’s word struck me in a way I’ve never felt. I cannot describe how deeply their music moved me. I was brought to tears the first time I went - and the second, third, and fourth. I had never felt God’s presence so strongly in my entire life. It felt like God was speaking to me when I went to church there. Being there made me  know that he would heal me. I didn’t want to be anywhere else. 

Four Rounds of Gemcis Chemo

The next eight weeks felt like a blur. I went to Piedmont Hospital every two weeks for chemo. Gemcis was more tolerable than carbo taxol, but I still got sicker with each round. I kept working, but keeping up with the business got harder and harder. It had become clear that my business partner, Don Fornes, would be the new CEO of our company. He took over and did an amazing job. I have always felt indebted to him. Now I felt even more so. He is an outstanding business leader - the most impressive I have ever seen - and I have always felt so fortunate to work with him.

Over time, I lost my hair. I had told my kids that daddy would be bald soon, as I did not want to scare them. I pretended that they could draw on my head and it would be a lot of fun. 

The kids were clearly a little shocked and scared when they saw me bald. I acted like it was a fun occasion. They decorated my head. I cried after they were done and had gone to bed. They never really got used to me being bald. 

Seeing myself bald for the first time was surreal. Looking in the mirror highlighted the reality of my prognosis. I did not like to look at myself. I wore a hat most of the time. I didn’t leave the house much. At times, I would pretend I was just embracing and “rocking it,” but I really wasn’t. I hated being bald.

The Fighter’s Guide to Healing in the Bible

When I went to my chemo appointments, I would take the note cards I had written Bible verses on. I had created over 100 of them. Other patients getting their chemo were typically watching Nextflix or reading a book. I thought how great it would be if I could share my notecards with them. If they’re sitting around all day and staring down a terrible disease, wouldn’t many of them want to be filled with encouragement from the Bible? 

Melissa and I decided to publish a small booklet with all of our favorite healing passages. We called it The Cancer Fighter’s Guide to Healing in the Bible. We had several hundred printed. When getting chemo, we would blanket the room with copies. Many people thanked me. They were all gone every time I came back, and the staff said they wouldn’t throw them away. Several of the staff members kept copies for themselves. I would also leave copies around MD Anderson. It brought me a lot of comfort to spread encouragement to others. 

Initial Chemo Progress

After eight weeks of chemo, we went back to MD Anderson for another scan. We were all thrilled to see that the tumors in my liver had shrunk 60%. I then realized that a 60% reduction in the size of a 2D object on a screen would be an even greater reduction in its volume. I deduced that the volume of my tumors had shrunk about 75%. 

The doctor said this was a tremendous response to chemo, one of the better ones he had seen. I was encouraged. I asked if this meant I was going to be cured. He quickly informed me that I would never be cured. He said the cancer would eventually become resistant to the chemo and grow back. I asked him how we would manage it from there. He said we could try some other drugs, but we were starting with the best and most proven drug - gemcis - first. Subsequent drugs may not control the disease at all. He reminded me that I was just buying time, and that I would die of liver failure in the future. I still did not ask how long I had. I refused to believe it. I believed God would heal me 100%. 

I asked if we could consider surgery now that everything had shrunk so much. He informed me that was not possible, since once you are no longer a candidate for surgery, you cannot go back. I asked about radiation. He said no. He said chemo was our only option, so I went back for four more rounds. 

Exploring Surgery on My Own

I decided to reach out to surgeons on my own to get their opinions directly. My family researched the top liver oncology surgeons around the country for me. I could not bear to Google anything related to my condition, and I still can’t. 

I ended up meeting with surgeons at the University of Chicago, the Cleveland Clinic, and Mass General. They were sympathetic to my case but said there was nothing they could do. All of them expressed a desire to help, but they said my initial scan was so advanced that they could not help at the time. They offered to keep in touch in case something changed in the future. 

While this was disappointing, I believed that surgery must not be in God’s plan for me at the time. I still claimed he would heal me 100% one way or another. 

Good News on Brain Metastases - and a Divine Interruption

MD Anderson had been keeping a close eye on the cancer that had spread to my brain. I had scans of my brain and abdomen each time I went. At one point, MD Anderson had me fly to Houston just to meet a team of doctors from their brain metastasis clinic. Again, I was so impressed by the specialization of the doctors at MD Anderson. 

I had my scan early in the morning and was planning to meet with the doctors late that afternoon. I was naturally anxious during the interim period of several hours. I decided to listen to an old Dale Bronner sermon called Divine Interruptions. I had begun listening to it on the flight to Houston the night before. I had about 15 minutes remaining. 

A few minutes before the end, Dale said, “There are no limitations in God. He knows your address. He's got you radared in....He knows exactly where you are and he knows where you hurt. He's got the best scan of your brain and of your body and bone density of anybody in the world. God has already done the work!"

I was floored to hear this. Chills went down my spine. I smiled at the presence of God. I knew he was with me and guiding my fight. My anxiety disappeared. 

At the visit that afternoon, one of the doctors said, “you know, I’m not 100% convinced we are looking at cancer on these scans. These may be mild cavernomas.” Of course, I had to ask what that meant. He said that my cavernomas looked harmless, especially since I didn’t have symptoms. They could not be certain these spots were cavernomas rather than cancer. They would have to determine that by monitoring my brain for the next 1-2 years. 

This gave me so much hope and encouragement. As Dale said, I knew God had already done the work to heal me, and we would eventually see it. 

Four More Rounds of Chemo

The next eight weeks of chemo were very difficult - harder than the first eight weeks. I became sicker with each round of chemo. The pain lasted longer and got worse. I was losing a lot of weight. I felt awful. It became even harder to be an involved parent. 

The impact on my veins was actually the worst part of this period. My veins were simply wearing out from the toxicity of the chemo. They were swollen and in a lot of pain. My kids could not touch my arms, which was so difficult to bear emotionally. I had always wrestled and swung them around a lot. I couldn’t do it anymore. 

I had to use different veins each time I got chemo and blood draws. We began to use smaller, more obscure veins that were hard to penetrate with needles. Each blood draw and IV placement became a challenging task. Finding a good spot involved several “exploratory” pricks that hurt a lot more than normal. With my veins giving up, the pain growing, and my sickness getting worse, I began to realize I couldn’t do this much longer. 

On Easter Sunday, I became short of breath and had pretty strong chest pains around my heart. I texted my doctor. He said I needed to go to the emergency room right then. We were just sitting down at church. He said I must get up and leave. I checked into the hospital, and the initial blood draw revealed that the protein that signals a heart attack was in the danger zone. I stayed in the hospital almost 48 hours. They drew my blood every few hours. This was so painful because of my veins. And I had a CT of my heart. It took them three tries to set my IV. I cried a lot in the hospital, out of both pain and sadness that I was in such bad shape.  

Trail West Summer Camp

In June, my family went to Trail West, a Younglife summer camp in Buena Vista, CO. During the first evening devotional service, the director shared that she had been healed of advanced-stage cancer several years prior. I was  glad she was there, because I was so scared of my condition. I went up to her afterward and explained what I was fighting. We hugged and cried together. There is an unspoken bond between cancer fighters. I felt so much comfort that she was there. It made me feel like God was with me. 

A couple of days later, she came up to me and said, “there’s a family here who I think you should meet. The mother was healed of brain tumors years ago. She came to me and asked if anyone at camp needs to be healed of the same thing.” I was delighted to meet with her and her husband. They shared their story. They prayed with me and asserted that God would heal me, just as he had healed her. I believe there are no coincidences, and again, felt the presence of God. I went back to my room and broke down in tears. I called my mom. She had received several tear-filled phone calls from me. This one was different though. I was in tears because I was so moved by God’s presence. My faith that he would heal me was growing. I was so grateful for the support of this family and the camp director. I believe God sent me to Trail West to receive encouragement from them.

Chemo Failure

We returned to MD Anderson in July for another round of scans. I was sure this round would show further reduction in my tumors, if they weren’t totally gone. I went in to my appointment expecting more good news. I was wrong. The doctor showed that the cancer was growing back. Chemo had stopped working. I was devastated and terrified. 

My doctor said this was the standard course for stage four cancer. Now that chemo wasn’t an option, he said the alternatives we had left were targeted therapy and immunotherapy. He said these latter options were less proven and unlikely to work in a meaningful way. I became tempted to to think I was dying of cancer, but forced myself to shut those thoughts out. 

My doctor put me on a targeted therapy drug called imatinib. It was developed to treat Leukemia. It has shown some success with tumors of the GI tract, so he wanted to try it on me. He cautioned me that it may have no effect. He added that when it works, it usually works slowly and I should not expect a big response. The upside was that imatinib was less toxic than gemcis, so I could tolerate it longer. And it could be taken orally. My veins needed a break anyways. 

Feeling Forsaken

We walked out of that appointment in disbelief. I was stunned. Where was God? Why wasn’t he healing me? Why is he letting me die a slow death of cancer? Words cannot describe the feelings I had. Terror. Sorrow. Despair. Who would take care of my family after I was gone? Would my wife and kids ever stop grieving? It felt so unfair. I wanted desperately to be there for them. 

We went back to our hotel room and I sobbed like I had never sobbed before. I cried out to God. I felt so lonely and forsaken. He wasn’t helping me. Why not? 

Of course, Melissa encouraged me to stay faithful. As she said so many times, we had to know that God is who he says he is and he can do what he says he can do. He has healed countless others and he will heal me. She put her hands on me and said, “I declare healing over you, in Jesus’ name.” She said that to me regularly throughout our fight. It helped so much having her by my side. Her faith is so strong.

We went back to our Bibles and continued praying to God. After dropping the kids off at school, we would spend hours together reading the Bible, praying, and declaring the truth that God heals. It was such a difficult time, but Melissa encouraged me to stay in faith that God would heal me. 

Another Divine Interruption at Brasstown Bald 

In August, my family and I were at Lake Burton in North Georgia for the weekend. On Saturday afternoon, I felt an urge to drive to Brasstown Bald, the tallest mountain in Georgia. There is a short hike to the top. The observation deck has amazing 360 views of the Appalachian Mountains. I had been there as a teenager but had not been back. I had not thought of Brasstown Bald in a long time, yet something that afternoon struck me and I had to go. 

The views from the top were great. But I struggled to enjoy the experience. Every day, my thinking was consumed with the thought of my condition. I was so scared, yet I had to shut out those thoughts. I had to fill my thought with the word of God instead. It was so hard. 

We were ready to leave when my son asked if he could look through one of the telescopes at the top. It required a few quarters I did not have. So we went to the gift shop and got change for $1. We went back to the observation deck and put the quarters in. When the timer was almost up, I heard two older men meet each other and strike up a conversation. I don’t know how they got on the topic of healing so quickly, but one of them said he was healed after a massive heart attack, while the other was healed of stage three colon cancer. A minute later, another man walked up to them and said he also had been healed of a fatal heart condition. I felt the urge to talk to them. 

I walked up to them and introduced myself. I explained that I had overheard their conversation and felt compelled to talk to them. I explained what I was dealing with. The men spent a few minutes sharing encouraging thoughts with me. They were clearly strong Christians and believed in healing. They prayed for me. Two of the men had to leave. One stayed behind and kept sharing more Bible verses. He declared that God would heal me. 

As we were finishing our conversation, my mom walked up to me. He asked, “is that your mother?” I said yes. He then looked back at his wife standing behind him and said, “oh my, God is amazing.” His wife was tearing up. He looked right at my mom and said, “Your son is going to be perfectly well. I know it.” 

His wife came up to us in tears at that point. “Earlier today,” he explained, “I felt the sudden urge to come to Brasstown Bald. I had never even been here. It came to me so strongly that I am supposed to meet a woman whose son is very sick. And I am supposed to tell her that God is healing her son, and that her son will be OK.” He looked at me and said, “I was confused when I met you, because I thought I was looking for a mother. I just met the son first.”

The presence of God is an indescribable feeling. I felt so comforted. I was in awe that this stranger had come to me with such a powerful message. I asked him for his phone number so we could stay in touch. He said, “don’t worry about. I know you’re already 100% healed. You don’t need to call me with the good news.” I think about this encounter all the time. The man’s name was Marcus. I don’t know where he was from. I would love to see him again, just to tell him that he was right. I am sure he would tell me, “yes, I’ve known that all along!” 

Dr. Abdalla and My First Medical Hope

In August, my sister sent me the name of a liver oncology surgeon in Atlanta - Dr. Eddie Abdalla. She encouraged me to get an opinion from him. He had an impressive resume and spent 15 years at MD Anderson. I didn’t think I needed a fourth opinion from a surgeon, but decided to see him. 

I knew something was different about him when he walked in. He looked at me and said, “you don’t look that bad. You actually look pretty good. You have options.” I was shocked to hear this. It was the first time a doctor had given me any hope. Of course, I thought I looked awful relative to my appearance pre-diagnosis. But he said I actually didn’t look that bad. 

He had reviewed my scans from February. He said it was unlikely that he could perform surgery on me, but was wondering if we should consider a treatment such as Y-90. He explained that he had seen Y-90 make patients ineligible for surgery suddenly eligible. He said, “you’re too young to die and leave your family behind. We need to find a way to save you.” 

I was shocked to hear this. I thanked him so much. I also shared my appreciation for surgeons. He replied by saying, “Surgeons don’t heal. Only God does.” Again, I was moved by how different his mindset was from every other doctor’s. He decided to order a CT scan to see how my liver looked after the dramatic response I initially had to chemo. He wanted to see for himself how everything looked. 

Cleared for Surgery! 

I met with Dr. Abdalla again a few days later to review the scan. He came in and said, “I am so surprised to see your liver actually  is resectable. I didn’t think it was based on the February scan, but I can see the tumors have shrunk to the perfect positions. They have come away from your portal vein and I believe I can remove them.”

I now know how the Israelites felt when the Red Sea was parted for them. I felt like I was walking on dry ground, with walls of water on each side of me. I was in awe listening to Dr. Abdalla. This was the best news I had received in a very long time. 

He added that I had just the right amount of gemcis chemo. He would not be able to perform surgery if the doctors had given me any more. The toxicity would be too much for my liver to repair itself post-surgery.

Dr. Abdalla said he had been in touch with his former partner at MD Anderson about me. He wanted to get another opinion from him, since my case was a little borderline for surgery. 

Melissa and I walked out of that appointment and felt that God was right there with us. I suddenly had new hope. We went home, got down on our knees, and thanked God profusely. I was brought to tears by this news. Life suddenly felt good again. I had not felt this way since I had received my diagnosis. Everything changed. 

We flew to MD Anderson a few weeks later for another CT scan of the liver. I met with Dr. Abdalla’s partner. He agreed that my liver was resectable, albeit a little borderline. He wasn’t sure if surgery would fully cure me, but agreed that I should have the procedure. 

Based on all the encounters along the way, I knew God was with me. It felt like this procedure was part of his plan. I believed it would bring me complete healing. 

Melissa and I soon realized that God had been working this whole time. In July, I felt forsaken by God when the cancer was growing back and the doctor took me off gemcis. But if the gemcis was still working, even slightly, the doctor would have left me on it. That would have made me ineligible for surgery. This realization brought us so much encouragement. God was with me the whole time, and I didn’t even know it. 

My doctor at MD Anderson pointed out that I had a regular scan scheduled in three weeks. He said that we should do that scan before having surgery. He wanted to ensure I was still eligible for surgery since my case was borderline. He explained that if the cancer spread over the next three weeks, rendering me ineligible for surgery, then I’m actually ineligible today. I should not have the procedure now if I can’t have it in three weeks. 

So we decided to do the scan in three weeks. We scheduled surgery for the Monday afterward. 

Praying for Surgery…and Healing

Melissa and I spent the following three weeks in intense prayer. We were so excited that God was parting the Red Sea for us. We believed that we were witnessing a miracle. I was filled with more and more hope every day. It really felt like God was with me. 

I clung to following Bible passages and repeated them throughout the day, every day: 

• Isaiah 43:16 - “Do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing. Do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” 
• II Corinthians 5:17 - "If any man is in Christ, all things are new." 
• Philippians 1:6 - "He who began a good work in you will see it to completion." 

The day of the scan was getting closer. I was excited to receive final clearance for surgery.

We went to church at Word of Faith the Sunday before my scan. In between songs, Pastor Kristie Brawley was praying for the congregation and said, “If you are fighting cancer, leave it on the altar for Jesus right now. That is not your battle to fight. He took that for you on the cross.” 

Of course, I was struck by how much it felt like she was talking to me. I thanked God yet again for the Bronner family and this divine coincidence. I thanked God for taking the cancer from me 100%. I declared that God didn’t need surgery to heal me. As Kristie said, Jesus already took it and I am healed. 

Visiting Lakewood Church in Houston

I flew to Houston on Tuesday. The following morning, I went to Lakewood Church. Joel Osteen and Steve Austin prayed for me. Joel looked me in the eye and said, “Austin, God healed my mother of metastatic liver cancer, and I believe he is healing you of it right now.” Steve added, “I believe we are witnessing a miracle before our very eyes.” He had seen many miracles in his career, and felt compelled to tell me that I was healed. 

I was so impressed that Steve’s job is to pray for sick people at the Texas Medical Center. After spending so much time there, I knew what a scary place it was. He runs to the front lines of intense battles every day to help people receive divine healing. 

I thanked Joel and Steve and went back to MD Anderson. I was moved by their support. Lakewood Church is an amazing place. I think it is worth a trip to Houston just to attend a Sunday service, even if you don’t go to church or consider yourself a Christian. 

My scan at MD Anderson was that afternoon. Before getting in the machine, the technician handed me a pair of headphones and offered to play anything I wanted from YouTube. That had never happened to me before. I asked if he could play Joel Osteen. 

As I was moved into the machine, Joel’s sermon from that Sunday started playing - Praying Bold Prayers. I had just heard that sermon a few days before. I thought to myself, “God, you must really want me to hear this message if I’m hearing it twice in one week.” The sermon was all about not limiting God. He’s the God of possible. He can do anything. We sometimes limit him when we don’t pray boldly enough. 

This message made me wonder if I was limiting God by praying for surgery. I had prayed for complete healing many times before - multiple times every day. But something about this experience struck me deeply. I claimed that God made me in His image and likeness, that in Jesus I live and move and have my being, that in Christ all things are new, and that by his wounds, I am healed. It felt very real to me. 

Sudden Healing

I met with my doctor at MD Anderson the following day to review my scan. He walked in and said, “Austin, I have never seen this in my entire career. There is no active cancer in this scan.” 

For the first time since February, my world stopped. I was speechless. I felt an overwhelming sense of appreciation. God was here. 

“What?” was all I could say. “Really?” 

He replied without emotion,”there is no active cancer in this scan.” There was a long silence. 

It started to set in. I felt gratitude growing within me, as if a fire had just started. 

He added, “it was all there three weeks ago when we cleared you for surgery. It looks as if it just died since then.” 

All I could ask was, “so, what do we do about surgery?”

He responded, “well, I am in uncharted territory. I don’t know what to do next. I will talk to the surgeons and get back to you.” 

In a matter-of-fact manner, he ended the meeting and left. Melissa was in tears. We got down on our knees in the exam room and praised God. We thanked him for delivering the most amazing miracle we had ever witnessed. It was one of the best moments of my entire life, right up there with getting married and the birth of my kids. I felt like I had a new life. I had my entire future ahead of me now. 

We walked out of that exam room in complete awe. Everything about the world suddenly looked different. I realized that God was right by my side at that moment, and he had been the entire time. I was completely overwhelmed by gratitude. And I was so humbled. It was actually hard for me to walk. The world felt different. 

We went back to the hotel at MD Anderson and called our families. They were in similar states of awe and gratitude. They had been praying for a miracle and now it was here. They cried tears of joy. Everyone thanked God right away. 

The following week, we met with Dr. Abdalla in Atlanta. He said he had never seen this happen in his career, either. He added that he spoke to his former partner, the head liver surgeon at MD Anderson. His partner had never seen this happen either. 

The doctors met and decided that I should have the surgery in two months. They wanted to wait and do another scan to see if the cancer was still dead. They said we would do the surgery then if it was.   

Having the Surgery

Two months later, I went back to MD Anderson for another scan. This trip was different, though. I went in expecting - and knowing - that it was all dead. I had very little anxiety. I knew I was already healed. This scan was just checking the box for the doctor. 

The doctor came in and shook his head in disbelief. “Your scans look great,” he said. I asked him if we were still going to have surgery. He replied, “well I’m in uncharted territory. Most likely, yes. Let me talk to the surgeons.”

Dr. Abdalla felt strongly that I should still have the procedure. He said I should not carry around those dead cells. Also, there could be some active cells still lingering. I knew God had healed me 100%, but went along with the procedure.  

On December 5, 2022, I went in for surgery. I had spent the weeks prior getting ready for it. I felt great going into the hospital. I really wasn’t that anxious about having major surgery on a vital organ. God had taken me this far, and wasn’t going to abandon me now. 

I was under anesthesia for 6.5 hours. Dr. Abdalla removed 75% of my liver and three regions of lymph nodes. All I remember from that day is Melissa telling me that the procedure went well and he got all the dead stuff out. I was scatterbrained on drugs, but I was so grateful. 

Recovering from Surgery

I knew that recovering from a procedure like this would be tough. The staff had set the expectation that it would be hard and long. However, I figured I would be in the hospital for three or four days. I thought I would lay low at home a few days afterward, and would be back in the swing of things quickly. I was wrong. I had no idea how hard and long the recovery would be. At the same time, I knew I was fully healed and I had a new life. That perspective helped me get through it. 

I ended up spending eight nights in the hospital. The next several weeks were hard. But I had new life, and new perspective on life. I went about daily life full of gratitude, humility, and awe. I didn’t want those feelings ever to fade. Life was so much better. 

My “new normal”

At times, I felt like a soldier returning from gruesome war and struggling to reintegrate into normal society. My anxieties of life before my diagnosis - getting kids to bed on time, their activities, my finances, etc. - all seemed irrelevant. I had learned what was truly important in life. My health and relationships with my loved ones dwarfed everything else in importance. 

As my healing had been unfolding, I had begun to realize that I was able to start thinking of my future. Life without hope for the future is misery. It isn’t really life at all. I became so excited to experience my kids growing up and be a supportive husband. I learned that daily life is such a gift. We take it for granted - going to work, dealing with kids, and then doing it all over the next day. We don’t realize how amazing our routine lives are until they’re at risk of being gone. I think it takes a terminal illness diagnosis to truly understand this. 

I found that I had emerged from this fight as a much better parent and husband. I was so much more loving, forgiving, and compassionate. I had new perspective on what mattered in my relationships and what didn’t. Every relationship in my life improved. 

I had also emerged as a much stronger person. If I can handle stage four cancer, countless scans, chemo infusions, and major surgery, I can survive anything. Nothing else in my life was as difficult as this fight. It is true that what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. 

My professional career has been built by building and investing in technology companies. I have always loved my work. After this experience, I still feel like my work is what I’m called to do. But I do it with a new perspective, and through a new lens. 

Continuing the Fight

I have learned that once you are a cancer fighter, you are always a fighter. You can’t go back to life as it was before. The mental and emotional struggles are so real. They don’t end, even after the healing. You have to fight to maintain your healing every day. The devil would love to make me afraid that the cancer will come back. I have to shut those thoughts out every day. 

In a way, this is good. Just like exercising intensely every day keeps you in great shape, the continuous fight keeps my thought alert and sharp. It also keeps me centered around where my healing comes from - God. And it’s a constant reminder of what’s truly important in life. 

Living in a continuous fight also means living with continuous gratitude for the healing. This is another positive outcome of this whole journey. Dale Bronner says that the happiest people in life are those who are the most grateful. He is absolutely correct. Words cannot express how grateful I am for my healing. As a result, I have a level of happiness I have never experienced in life. I know it will continue as I never give up the fight. 

Finally, I am almost grateful for my fight. I wish I had not been through it. But I am so grateful for the outcome. It was the worst thing ever to happen to me, but then became the best thing ever to happen to me. My new life is so much better than my old life. And I know that my next 40 years will be better than my first 40.